L is for Look Within

Welcome to Kokoro, where twice a month I send you thoughtfully chosen resources to help you get more of what you want through empowered decision making and improved self talk.

In this issue:

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-Erin

PS… On February 16 I’m hosting Ignite, a full day immersion workshop for folks who want to move a creative project or business idea from dreaming to doing.

The workshop has 3 parts:
1.⁠ ⁠Mindset shift into clarity and empowerment
2.⁠ ⁠Generate specific actions and ways to move forward
3.⁠ ⁠Focused co-working session to tackle those action steps right away and then celebrate!!!

First 10 to sign up get 1 free coaching session to support integration and next steps

You can register here — free coaching spots are going quickly!

The other week, I was in Orlando facilitating a team-building experience, and I had a chance to collaborate with Terry Withers, founder of the Radical Agreement Project. 

Terry travels around the country doing improv-based corporate workshops, and he’s excellent at it. He’s also got a really good blog, and hosts free, online improv classes a few afternoons each week.

If you’ve ever been curious about a fresh take on team building, I recommend you check him out.

My friend, Dr. Nikki Siso and her mother Dr. Sara Siso run The Conscious Kitchen here in Austin. It’s part café, part education hub where they teach about the healing properties of food. 

Nikki just re-launched her fantastic podcast (more than a hundred past episodes, and dozens of five-star ratings). Keep an eye out for an episode with yours truly, soon!

This book was informative, funny, and thought provoking. I used the “first, last, best” activity as a warmup the last time I hosted Facilitation Lab. 

It goes like this: Think of something like a book, car, job, kiss, etc. and share your First, your Last (most recent), and your Best. Matthew Dicks uses it to generate story ideas but I thought it would be a fun way to get to know each other, and it was!

L is for Look Within: It’s the first part of the framework I teach, and it involves getting familiar with your own internal landscape, and the touchpoints of self love you have in your life. 

Not just now, but going way back.

When I was a kid and my mom packed my lunch, I desperately wanted her to cut the sandwich into triangles before I went to school. It sounds silly, and she refused, probably thinking nothing of it.

But the micro-lesson I took from that and other experiences was, “my feelings don’t matter,” and I lived that way for years before realizing it was happening.

These aren't just memories - they're the operating system running your life.

That childhood story about the sandwich? It became the voice that says "don't make waves" when you want to speak up in a meeting.

It became the hesitation before you ask for what you need.

It became the automatic "I'm fine" when you're not.

Your stories are making thousands of micro-decisions for you every single day: whether you advocate for yourself, what you tolerate, how you respond when someone crosses a boundary, even the tone you use in your own head. And here's the thing - most of these decisions happen so fast you don't even notice them. You just think "that's who I am."

But it's not who you are. It's what you learned.

Exercise: Take five minutes, and jot down your answers to these two questions:

This is exactly what we do in the Look Within phase of my L.O.V.E. Framework. I guide you through uncovering these hidden stories. We don't just identify them and move on. We sit with them, understand where they came from, and start to see how they've been quietly directing your life. We excavate the patterns, connect the dots, and give you the clarity to see what's been invisible.

It's not therapy (though I'm a huge advocate for therapy, in parallel with this and other modalities).

It's becoming aware of the code so you can rewrite it. That’s Look Within.