V is for Voice & Verify

Welcome to Kokoro, where twice a month I send you thoughtfully chosen resources to help you get more of what you want through empowered decision making and improved self talk.

In this issue:

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-Erin

Everyone's saying 2026 is the new 2016. Here's my take.

Earth Groove, a deep house track from 2016, still gives me all the feels. Life is joyful. We’re all a human family connected by love. Our collective distinct cultures create a tapestry that’s awe-inspiring to contemplate, behold, and participate in. Is it just me?

If you're working a little harder these days to hold onto that feeling — put this on. Let's get our groove back and do this life thing together!

Drop me a line if you put it on. I want to hear how it moved you.

I struggle with sleep. Anxiousness... or a catchy song in my head. It doesn't take much to keep me awake.

By now we've all probably heard more sleep tips than we care to remember. Well, here's another resource. Novel practical advice and new-to-me gadgets (including two that read and respond to your brainwaves) in this episode of Diary of a CEO with Dr. Michael Breus, a clinical psychologist and sleep expert.

Many things I try work. For a week. Or two. Then my mind habituates and I need a new technique. So it's in that spirit that I offer this to add to your catalog of possible tools — if you, too, struggle with sleep.

I recently learned my friend is a "Lackey." That sounds bad until you know what it means in the geocaching world. Geocaching is a global treasure hunt where people use GPS coordinates to find hidden containers all over the world. And it's easy these days with their app — you don't have to be an intrepid outdoors person (like I had assumed).

The geocaching community calls the company’s employees "lackeys" because they see themselves as servants to the community. Lackeys are also celebrities. They have trading cards. People line up to meet them at events. I had no idea my friend was famous!

What gets me is how special that is. An organization that builds the scaffolding but steps back and lets the community lead. Plus, I love a good inside joke. They know "lackey" is a term of endearment.

V is for Voice & Verify: This is the part of the L.O.V.E. framework where we take things into the real world with micro-tests designed to apply our new beliefs. I love this part because I’m super practical.

For example, whenever I used to go to dinner with friends I'd try to read everyone’s minds, guess where they wanted to sit, then I'd take the worst seat – the one I thought nobody else wanted.

I hardly have to say it, but this is obviously stupid. I can’t read minds, and no one was expecting me to do this. But the story I told myself was that if I prioritized myself, people would be upset or reject me.

My micro-test was simply to ask myself, “Where do I want to sit,” then sit there.

It was a micro-test of the mantra "I treat myself as well as I treat others."

And you know what happened? No one got mad. No one rejected me. Hell, no one really even noticed (which was a big “ah hah” moment). Best of all, I started collecting data to support my new belief that I was worthy of treating myself better.

Give that a try next time you’re out with friends.

Exercise: Before you default to accommodating others, pause and ask yourself:

Then do the thing.

Afterward, take a moment to verify: What actually happened? What does this teach me about the story I was telling myself?